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El Slip “Eyelit” como Aparato Ideológico del Estado

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Introducción
Se ha dicho hasta el cansancio que la familia es la célula que reproduce a nivel micro los mecanismos de opresión y dominio ideológico que garantizan la explotación de una clase sobre otra en el sistema capitalista. Sin embargo, consideramos que estos mecanismos, fundamentales para explicar el éxito de la institución familiar como instancia privilegiada en la transmisión de una visión del mundo capitalista, no han sido, hasta la fecha, objeto de un estudio exhaustivo.
Es esta ausencia en el campo de estudios ideológicos lo que inclinó nuestra indagación hacia el papel que desempeña el slip infantil “Eyelit” en el proceso de socialización del niño. En este trabajo intentaremos revelar la operatoria del mencionado slip como instrumento ideológico de primer orden en pos de la naturalización del status quo.

Aproximaciones metodológicas.
El objeto que convoca nuestro estudio es una prenda íntima masculina conocida como “slip” en la nomenclatura comercial, o “calzoncillo” en el lenguaje coloquial. El slip (“deslizarse” en inglés: idioma oficial del imperialismo, no lo olvidemos) es una prenda de forma triangular que consta de 3 agujeros circulares: la circunferencia mayor está recubierta por un elástico a fines de ajustar el adminículo a la cintura y las dos circunferencias laterales y simétricas permiten pasar las piernas del usuario a través de ellas. 2 bandas oblicuas formadas por gruesos costurones que van desde la cintura a la zona testicular delimitan la superficie inguinal y señalan la parte frontal de la prenda en tanto el reverso es liso y elástico para contener el adiposo trasero infantil. El interior del slip (tómese nota de este detalle) está recubierto en la zona testículo-anal por una franja de tela toalla blanca, a los fines, según afirman los diseñadores del calzón, de contener en lo posible todo tipo de secreciones orgánicas.
Tomamos como referencia para este trabajo el slip tal como ha sido desarrollado, publicitado y comercializado por la firma Eyelit durante la década del 80’. Esta elección se debe a la posición dominante de la marca durante el período abordado y el éxito irrefutable de su modelo infantil, hasta el punto tal de haber sido imitado sucesivamente desde entonces por diversas marcas sin alterar un ápice su diseño.

Operación Ideológica del Slip
Desde niños el slip, como el capitalismo, nos es dado. Recién adquirida una porción de conciencia y el niño ya se encuentra con el calzoncillo entre las piernas. Lo que es peor, el slip llega como premio (y ya sabemos qué papel clave juega el sistema de premios y castigos en la formación ideológica). Premio entonces, para el niño que ha adquirido la habilidad de controlar sus esfínteres. El arribo del slip señala el ocaso del pañal como instrumento libertario que le permitía al infante cagarse y mearse cuando le diera en gana, en lo que podemos identificar como un progresivo proceso de cercenamiento de las libertades fisiológicas del niño. La maduración implica control sobre su propio cuerpo y parcelamiento funcionalista del mismo (el culo, para la caca, la caca, fea, mala) y trae aparejada para el sujeto la consecuente represión de toda libido erógena con respecto al cuerpo propio.
“Papá, quiero caca” reclama el infante en un inútil grito postrero de rebelión trunca. El niño quiere la caca, pero el padre y su Ley pronto lo adoctrinará: “Vos la querés… tirar al inodoro”. “Caca fea, caca mala, no toque eso, caca”. Hasta que el niño introyecte el mandato paterno y opere en silencio y por su cuenta la deposición. Un resto, sin embargo, permanece en el lenguaje cuando, aún en adultos, se oye la frase “Voy a hacer caca” cuando todos sabemos que la caca ya está hecha hace rato y que en el acto en que decimos “hacerla” en verdad la desechamos, como la revolución
Pero volvamos al niño con slip. Su madre, para premiar su logro ha comprado una caja familiar con una docena de calzoncillos en cuatro colores. Nótese que los colores varían, pero la toalla interna permanece blanca. De aquí en mas la madre será la encargada exclusiva de proveer de slips a su hijo sin que éste sea capaz de legislar sobre sus propios calzones.
Así, el niño naturaliza el slip como ropa interior. Jamás se cuestiona ¿Por qué no un taparrabos, un pañuelo, un boxer, un pantaloncito de fútbol u ¡horror! por qué no nada? El slip ya lo tiene, literalmente, agarrado de las pelotas. Y el infante, especialmente en este período ventana sufre “escapes”, “regresiones”, expresiones orgánicas de liberación, en fin, lo que vulgarmente se conoce con el nombre de “palometas”. A veces calcula mal y cree que va a llegar al baño y tiene tiempo de jugarse una mano más de escoba de 15, otras veces es un gas que trae aparejada una incómoda “sorpresa”. Irremediablemente estos deslices, estos “deslizamientos” (slips) quedarán fijados como una firma indeleble, como una mancha del test de Rorschach en la inmaculada toallita blanca del slip hasta que el amor de madre los remueva para volver a “foja cero” sin deslizar (slip) el más mínimo comentario al respecto y conformando al mismo tiempo un sólido lazo basado en el secreto y la discreción entre madre e hijo.

El Slip como producción subjetiva
Los años transcurren y el niño, ya joven, comprende con tiempo y esfuerzo que hay alternativas al slip así como hay otros sistemas sociales aparte del capitalismo. Entonces llega el glorioso día en que puede ejercer su derecho soberano a comprar su propia prenda íntima. Seguramente en este trance optará por el boxer, ícono de la libertad, pero el daño ya está hecho. También aquí se enmascara una estrategia de mercado con el aspecto de un acto volitivo e incluso ¡sobre todo! Se hace un negocio de eso. Basta consultar las publicidades de los boxers y el imaginario que construyen: hombres jóvenes, musculosos, llenos de vigor que acaban de abandonar el slip impuesto por la madre (micro) para caer en las afiladas garras del mercado (macro). Así vemos cómo la familia le entrega a la sociedad capitalista un sujeto dócil y entrenado, perdón, educado, en los goces ilusorios del consumo.
Pero decíamos que el joven no sólo nace a la certidumbre de que hay vida más allá del slip sino que a veces también adquiere la certidumbre de la injusticia que sostiene el sistema capitalista: la explotación del hombre por el hombre. Entonces reflexiona, lee a los clásicos (Marx, Engels, etc) milita en la Facultad de Sociales, y un día junta valor y enfrenta a su propia madre, echándole en cara sus miserias pequeñoburguesas. La madre finge sorpresa: “Te desconozco, hijo, te desconozco”, trata de encarrilarlo: “Conseguí un trabajo, como tu hermano, sé un hombre de bien”. E incluso apela a las fórmulas clásicas de la naturalización de un orden histórico: “Bueno, qué le vamos a hacer” “Las cosas son como son” “No queda otra” “Es lo que hay” “El trabajo dignifica”. Pero su hijo no da el brazo a torcer. Está decidido a hacer la revolución, y una revolución bien entendida empieza por casa, adoctrinando a la madre, revirtiendo el proceso de (de)formación ideológica. “Para ser un auténtico revolucionario, piensa el joven soñador, tengo que hacer de mi madre un cuadro del partido”.
Entonces la madre, ya algo cansada y preocupada porque están por pasársele los fideos, apela a un argumento devastador e irreductible:


_Pero, por favor hijo. Qué me venís a mí con eso de la revolución si yo de chico te lavaba las palometas.


Lapidario. Hasta ese momento jamás había sido mencionado ese pacto de silencio firmado con caca. El joven comprende al instante que su derrota es completa, que no tiene chances, que está perdido desde el día en que se dejó calzar aquel slip eyelit. Tan sólo atina a bajar la cabeza, vuelve a su cuarto y se larga a llorar abrazado al póster del subcomandante Marcos.

Conclusiones
De este modo, creemos haber demostrado fehacientemente el enmascaramiento que el slip eyelit opera sobre las auténticas relaciones de producción que sostienen la estructura del sistema capitalista y cómo esta prenda se ha convertido en una herramienta de primer orden para el adoctrinamiento ideológico.
En definitiva el estudio no deja dudas: el Slip Eyelit es un auténtico Aparato Ideológico del Estado.

Lic. Zedi Cioso.

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